2020WON

by Rica Monzon

There are so many things you can associate this blog entry title with, but to make your life easier, I can tell you right away it’s about the wonderful “win” someone can get, through having a 2020 hindsight. This is how Webster dictionary describes this idiom:

2020 hindsight is the full knowledge and complete understanding

that one has about an event only after it has happened

When we hear someone has achieved a breakthrough in something it means that he or she had to break though stuff that’s tough, stressful or appears to be hopeless. My life story speaks of how after so many years of being burdened by different forms of shame, fear, unforgiveness and restlessness, God gifted me with an inner healing journey within the last 7 months that gave me a level of joy, peace and contentment that I have never experienced in the past.

And Liz Mullinar, the founder of Heal for Life, says so well what changed this time for me:

“ Each of us can choose how much time and energy we want to give to improving and changing ourselves. The more time we give to our healing, the more effective the healing will be. It is as simple as that.”

In the midst of all the important things I had to do at work, I decided to make time for self-care by making concrete steps to take this journey more seriously. Since healing is an ongoing journey, a huge progress in this department does not mean you can rest on your “inner healing” laurels, but what I can say is that the more time and effort you sow into this, the more positive changes you will be able to taste and see in your life, work and relationships.

One of the fondest memories I have during my childhood is the trip I had with my mom and grandmother in Hong Kong when I was 4 years old. I could vividly remember my kiddie self with my apple cut hairstyle and uneven bangs in Ocean Park, gleefully eating my ice cream. Even if I was soft-spoken and quite shy, I was so carefree and jolly with an adventurous cheerful spirit. 😊

Some of us start our lives this way, but since we do not live in a perfect world, we end up experiencing situations that damage our emotions or leave us feeling we are not enough and not worthy of love, joy and belonging like how Brene Brown refers to it. Having a loving family can help us be shielded from a lot of this but in different ways and levels of intensity, we all need healing from inner wounds, most especially if they originated from our childhood years, because left unhealed, we will develop unhealthy life and relationship patterns that stem from unforgiveness, carrying deep shame and fear of rejection. These bitter roots produce fruits that are so bitter that we can end up hurting ourselves and others knowingly or unknowingly.

The different types of community quarantine and physical distancing we all had to observe during the pandemic gave me time to examine the fruits of my life. While there are so many things I can celebrate and be thankful for, I was able to trace things I knew had to change in me so I could be as close as I possibly can to living and leading my life from a place of faith, hope and love.

I am very grateful for how the Lord used my openness to His unique means and ways for my growth and inner healing brought me to two amazing ministries – Heal for Life (HFL) and Elijah House’s Philippines (EHP) School of Prayer Ministry. Heal for Life’s Healing Week Online has a carefully curated sequence of lessons and science-based activities that were designed to make the program a “safe place” where the participants will be able to access and discover their “authentic selves” that were wounded, lost, and forgotten due to trauma and situations that could push people to live in fear. This program also has spiritual processing and ends by helping the participants experience greater joy in living. How I described their program is what I got to delightfully take away from HFL.

Through the inner healing journeys and the 2020 hindsight I was so blessed to receive through HFL and EHP, I could begin to feel and live with the joyful and cheerful spirit of the little Rica who enjoyed her trip so much in HongKong as a four year old girl. I could say, with so much gratitude in my heart that though I am in a continuous healing journey, the Lord has redeemed me. I can dance in joy (figuratively haha 😊), taste and see that the Lord is really good. His love for us can bring wisdom, strength, peace and contentment for our today, as much as we can bank on His promise that the plans He has for our tomorrow are good and not for disaster – to give us a future and a hope. 😊